After any sorta less-than-happy ending to a relationship, we have all found ourselves looking for a soft landing or even maybe another shoulder to bear some of the luggage but unfortunately more times than not life just gives us a swift kick in the jeans to remind us that all things, good or bad must come to a crash landing sooner or later!… We have re-visited every last would-a, could-a, should-a and what if, tapped into ancient Buddhism, compromised until it made us chronically nauseous and exposed our bleeding hearts on our sleeve until some kid came along and played mailbox baseball with it!
What else might we do we redundantly still ask ourselves?!…For those of us that insist that love is somewhere out there hinging on the same learning curve that we are, all that is left to do is pack up our shit like the nomadic wanderers we are and follow what’s left of our once flourishing hope against hope. It gets to become all too easy to grow entangled inside someone else’s anguish of failed relationships and forget that we also have our share of mistrials and shortfalls. In easiest terms,…”Shit happens and we all got problems of our own”!
Somehow, this concept gets lost in translation nowadays! The ‘Me, My & I’s’ have precluded any notions of actual intimate coexistence or ever-afters and just left us with nothing but reasons to keep movin’ on!……….
No matter the measured amount of effort, grit, soil or sand we throw at it, some things are just simply outside of our wheelhouse! In this vast universe I lovingly refer to as ‘God’s Country’ nothing is an absolute certainty and that hard lesson comes all too often. Especially for the least prepared of us. Why is it then do we find ourselves shoveling shit over and over again praying for different results this next time? Or assuming the best when we know that everything is so unpredictable?
Human nature compels us to believe and push forward because we inherently need that motivation regardless of it’s source and without it, we’d just lay down in a field somewhere and wait for all things to return from whence they came…False hope is better than no hope at all, right?! Seems that we’re in an endless search for that connector that plugs us into the rest of society, hand in hand with our ‘better or worse’ half and we’ll stop at nothing to oblige our need for companionship.
The good news is that there’s a chance we WILL find that ‘missing link’ and systematically attach it to our eagerly anticipating emotional framework but the bad news is, there’s no guarantee it’ll stick!…………
A bad relationship is like adopting an adorable rescue puppy that was all hugs n kisses for the 1st few weeks but now just won’t stop shitting and pissing all over the house!… Fellas!… How many times do we need to be drawn and quartered by some seemingly infallible, oblivious to the transgressions of dating, cutesy-faced gal that only ends up leading us back to where we started in the 1st place?!… The fact is, we ARE human and therefore prone to traits like trust, honesty, loyalty and commitment yet these same characteristics are the very ones that continually bring us to the mirror on the wall in staggering disbelief asking our self the same 2 questions,… “Who the fuck am I and why am I so stupid”?! “All the red flags were there, I saw them”!
And even after giving this thing a go and putting in a Herculean effort, nothing about this miserable journey has led us to believe that a ‘single’ cupid’s arrow might alter it’s trajectory and propel us into the next level of dating bliss! Aaanndd we stay!!! The love that we may have thought expounded itself into some transmorphic super nova has fizzled into a sparkler and hitch hiked home a long time ago and we’re a 12 pack deep on the front porch and eating snicker’s bars to keep our energy up so that we can consume as many as possible before we have to go inside with our ‘significant’ other!
I could string this post along and thus, all of you as well but I’m going to follow my best judgment for once and just let go!……….
As with all relationships, there comes that time-tested and oh-so inevitable collision of wills we refer to as a crossroads!… This destined point of protraction wouldn’t hold so much weight in our dating lives were it not accountable for most of the abbreviated endings to once thought perfect perpetuations of romance and foreverness…… One may think that after a multitude of experience, trial and error, narrowing the field and even going against better judgement in conducting a P.I. qualifying background check that these may increase the likelihood of avoiding all the nuances of the ‘Big Dance’ only to find yourself circling right back around to that first marker in the road…
Truth is, folks,… it’s a mightily take-it-or-leave-it world full of non-committals and run-for-your-love-life pacifists that in all honestly, consider the internet a substantially standard means of operation when it comes to finding the next ‘perfect for right now’ soulmate… in other words, it’s easier to replace you than to actually put in the work to keep you!…
With the book on it’s way,… finally, It’s beginning to dawn on me that I just may possibly be on to something. I was sitting here only yesterday with my best gal and we so happened to sit together through a quite painful piece of programming about online dating and it’s billion dolla’ market… Needless to say, lunch was totally ruined! Since when did ‘The list’ become an algorithm? Firstly, folks, the business analyst in me wanted to create a chart on just how many poor, lonely, desperate singles actually paid good money for a machine to predict their happiness but the author in me simply thought of this as agile marketing for my very soon-to-be published work.
If the idea behind meeting someone online through some dating site appeals to you only bc you can 1st run your preliminary criminal and credit background checks on them, (purposely setting yourself on some pedestal) you instantly become an oxy’moron’!… Some of the reasons the interviewees gave on this particular show for using such a venue for meeting people were as follows… “I only wanna date people who love horses”, “They must be well educated and highly successful”, i.e. (#MAJORMOOLA), “My cat has to like them”, “They have to be’inked-up'”, so on and so forth…
Well, wouldn’t it be awesome if we could all just put a phone booth in our bedroom, connect it to our computer and create some weird science?!?! *POOF*! What do ya know?, The perfect specimen! Ultimately, we knew this was bullshit in 1985 so why would it be anything more than that now? Ladies n gents, all men are NOT assholes and douchebags and all gals are NOT gold-diggers and soul-stealers!!! Zip up your khakis, sign out of your personal online porn search and actually leave your house, go somewhere that people might be and act like you’re NOT a shallow, impersonal, unrealistic asshole, douchebag, gold-digger or soul-stealer and I’d be willing to bet my last bitcoin that you might find someone worth more than a quick e-flirt!……
No offense intended,… this is a cute kid. I am simply illustrating that innocence we all possessed at one time in our lives. I have some very fond memories that remain that way because of a period of blind naivety. Ya’ know,… the moments when one would toss their cape over a mud puddle for Lana Lang to walk over, or send Jimmy to Starbucks to grab her a triple Caramel Macchiato for the low low price of 12 bucks… Anywho, times have-a changed and not necessarily for the better. Romance in front of the fireplace with wine and candles is now just something our ancestors did and unless you are actually, somehow a Google tech specialist or forensic accountant with a promising 6 figure salary, society tells us that our ‘American Dream’ is something exclusively offered to the wealthy and the rest of us regular ‘Clarks’ don’t have much of a chance of saving anything……Especially money!
But as my readers have certainly figured out by now, my head is made of steel so it’s gonna take a lot more than an industry standard for me to give up.Not all of us, gents have the desire to live up to some disproportionate measure of worth for the sake of finding ‘miss’ prolly not worth the trouble anyway’. Don’t get me wrong, ladies! I have enough love in my heart for all of you but if my fortune is simply ‘hypothetical’ and that just doesn’t cut it for ya’, then please excuse me,……Gotta fly!!!