The single life at its breaking point

OMG!!!

   YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE!

One of the first things to do is get rid of B.O.B. This guy’s like a poltergeist. He challenges you to a duel that obviously you’re going to lose, makes you paranoid and she absolutely refuses to let you use B.O.B. against her so ultimately, this guy has to be eliminated! L

  • Sex on the porch, the balcony at the Courtyard, with the bedroom windows open and almost in the driveway:
  • K, I never claimed that being an asshole didn’t have its perks. I went from King to a man without a kingdom in a very short time but not before I enjoyed some of the delicious fruits of my labor. I was treated with outside balcony sex on my b-day, catered to as finely as any Caesar in history, made out like a bandit with X-mas cookies, sported, when necessary hand-laundered  clothing and  dressed like the naughty Catholic school girl for. Not bad for a guy that can’t date himself out of a wet paper bag.

The fact that you’re still married n we have to meet in another town altogether to get it on cuz well, technically you’re still in it for life but legally seperated n he’s such a nutjob that you fear for my safety;

Strange things happen to people when they’re under duress. Earlier this year I was involved for a short time with a lady that held back more of the truth than Dub jr. n after discovering just how much, I proceeded to delete her from my FB friends list…Are you sitting down?! She called the cops on me! Hahahaha…..more later on this 5 minute nightmare…

Ya, I remember you!

Tina was a chik I actually went to school with so I assumed she would be gentle. I had already been through alot n wasn’t prepped for another thrashing n I explained this to her n she agreed that we would take it slow. Facebook was everybody’s thangy-thang so it was cool to come along for the ride. Oops!….

Sometimes, friends just ain’t what they used to be!

After my most recent revelation I’m finding that illusions are extremely important to the most insecure of people! Whatever it takes, I guess but walking away from these kind of people is becoming a duty of mine; a routine task, as a matter of fact… Not that I enjoy so much removing n replacing folks in my life, but Damn, gotta do what you gotta do. The bullshit is starting to pile up n it’s not in my job description to clean stalls so it’s gettin’ pretty ez to move on at this stage. Tina was a work in regression n she wasn’t afraid to state her position. She hated men n unfortunately for me, even though I was an old friend, I’m still a dude so she showed me no exception.

Where do I find these ladies, anyway?! Clearing your sched to meet her in another city only to find out her crazy husband violently refuses to sign the divorce papers is some of the crazy shit I’ve been up against but in the end, she wasn’t gonna have her cake n eat it too! Won’t give away all the details here but you can check em out later on ‘SEPTEMBER’…

Did I ever mention the importance of protection?

Not that I’m some sorta walking billboard for safe sex but at the same time, safe sex in my case is avoiding it altogether with just anybody; not necessarily cuz I’m paranoid about all the hybrid forms of S.T.D.’s but bc if I’m gonna catch Hell from a chik in the end anyway, may as well make it worth my while.

The FZ really isn’t so friendly after all….

I almost thought for a sec that I was as open-minded as the next guy but in the case of sketchy, once unshakable ethics, a turn for the worst can be almost tragic. Never woulda thought I’d try the whole ‘Friends w/ benny’s’ thing but after short deliberation w/ my lower judgement, I decided to give this shit a shot!!!

Mistake #1, anyone w any morals at all should be ashamed of themselves for doin’ this in the 1st place; specially if you’re practicin’ w/ multi-partners at any given time.

Mistake #2, it makes you look like more of a person incapable of commitment to a solo sexual endeavor than a rockstar!!

Mistake #3, most folks that do this are just plain distasteful as human beings and need to sit down with their morals n strike a new deal cuz anyone that’s in the know will take you about as seriously as the intro to mom that she tricks you into over dinner at her sis’s house!

I thought you were a lesbian now! Why does your gf look like a 12 year old boy?… Jus askin’…

A few weeks back I had the displeasure of runnin’ into 1 of my exes whom apparently is playin’ for the other team. 1st visit, not so bad. Chatted a lil’, nothin’ much but a few days later, we got a 2nd chance at a mutual friends house to do sum catchin’ up!

I had no idea that she had a gf in the 1st place so you can imagine my shock at seein’ this display. No prob with anyone’s sexual pref but this was my dick-happy ex gf! I had fully expected her partner to at least be hott but she looked like she should be playin’ hot-stove baseball.

Needless to say, later that night from the safe confines of my bedroom I sent a quite joyful text to her askin’ her the same q…

At least I ain’t gotta worry about her drunk-dialin’ me anymore! =)

Catch me if ya can…

Let’s take a look back to a few weeks ago when I was fresh off an emotional beatdown from the soon to be I.E # 8. Panic had set in n after a call from the po-po’s informing me to have no further contact with the gal nightmares are made of I proceeded to see jus how much alcohol could possibly be consumed by a ‘single’ human being within 48 hours. I reunited with a few of the ladies I had subsequently deleted from my contacts n was puttin’ in work tryna line up a hit-n-run…. After managing not to scare away jus 1, I had her pick me up at a buds, bring me home where I was immediately approached by I.E. #7…

Of course I did was any poor guy who’d jus had his heart smashed into pumpkin dust would do n I spent the night with her… Course the entire next week was a blur, (somewhere in there I started talkin’ to yet another chik) and I was definitely worse for wear. Ladies n gents, couple of simple things I learned from dating at speeds that might possibly break the sound barrier is that the world doesn’t stop jus bc shit happens nor does it do any of us any good to gloat to a detriment! There are 3.5 billion gals on this planet!…… It’s bound to work out with 1 of em’!… It’s a numbers game! 

 

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