The single life at its breaking point

Truth is…….

Van Halen – Jamie’s Crying

Once upon a time it was important to be honest throughout your life but the truth is that most of us aren’t anymore!

The truth is..

-Love has a lot in common with Vegas! There’s games everywhere and no one knows just which one to play.

-Planning too far ahead kills any chance whatsoever of being spontanious! Women love spontanaiety and if you sacrifice it, she’ll sacrifice you!!!

-You have to stay committed! If and when you ever get rejected, you gota maintain your dignity. She did! 

Yea, she was hot n I hadn’t spoken to her in over 6 months but the fact that she’s just now showin’ up tells me that I could be in for another ‘Here we go again scenario’. She’s super hot but damn, I can’t just come runnin’ everytime she calls now can I?

When you call up a lady and 1 of the first 2 things she says is ‘Lemme call you back’, it means ‘How did you get my # and why are you calling me’?!

It takes 2 to Tango! If you can get it off, take as many ladies as possible onto the designated ‘shake ur money maker’area; the dancefloor exists for a reason!

We can only control our actions; what other ladies n gents do can confound the hell out of us so stick with what you know! At least til’ you can find out whether you’re coming or going…

Fact or Fiction?

-When you become attractive to yourself, you become attractive to others?

-When you become some1 other than who you’re comfy with, it’s a tragedy waitin’ to happen!

-Any scientific method practiced for the use of seduction and social deception that guarantees success with women is complete bullshit!

…Play again later!…

-The more appealing someone or something looks to you, the more likely it is to be detrimental to your well-being.

-Stupid Human Tricks are for stupid humans….

The bottom of the mustard jar just ain’t cuttin’ it anymore!-K, I tried! I really did but I guess lying is the new truth n the only thing seperating some of us from our ancient prehistoric ancestors is that we only grunt behind closed bedroom doors! The war between the sexes has become more like a fight for sexual survival in a world of anything goes n super-suspect dating behavior… If commitment is no longer the norm n sincerity is only a default pretty smile n an overrated n rehearsed apology then I guess it’s best if we steer clear of all jewely shops n florists unless we’re 100% certain that she won’t become a jello-shot slurpin’, takin’ other dudes to the back room ‘IN YO’ FACE’, frisky lil’ nymph that we found out the hard way she really is…..

Anybody got an extra full-body contraceptive???

Depth perception!:

I’m prolly the most naive guy any chik’s ever met n by that I mean if they were handin’ out guaranteed warnings against how not to approach a situation logically I’d be the 1 dude that’d take his chances with the crashing waves of a roaring river!!! To be quite honest with you, that’s how I got here!

en·tre·pre·neur

noun

1.

a person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk.
Operative word; RISK!!! I knew goin’ in that it was either all or bust but I s’pose when you’re as driven as I am, a broken nose or 2 is a small price to pay to prove a point!
 

I see your lips movin’ but I don’t hear nothin’!….. Oops! Wrong lips! Sorry!
 
They say to fight the battles you can win but I’ve always been much more of a competitor so why not bring a slingshot to a gun battle?! When you ask a chik to send you some dirty pics n her response is “What do you wanna see” she’s basically tellin’ you to your face that she’s a freak n more than likely a whore as well! Just sayin’. I’ve always had the disposition of a gent that’ll give any gal a 2nd chance, even if, well, especially if she’s a broken sparrow, (Thx, Mike Lohan) and even moreso if she’s completely yummy but I guess tryin’ to get 1 of these chiks to NOT be a slut is impossible! Sadly, my greatest regret is that I say NO waaay too much. I hate havin’ a conscience n it’s killin’ my sex-life but I’m about to publish a book on ethics in dating so I’m tryin’ like Hell to do the right thing…
Ahhh… SCREW IT!……Look, ‘Girls Gone Wild’ wannabe’s, I’m about to fuck the living daylights outta 1 of you so don’t even wink at me unless you’re prepped for a complete ‘Vaginal’ beatdown!!!
 
– No matter how many times she says that she loves you, it don’t mean a fuckin’ thing unless she still does!…
 
– Just bc you want somethin’ to be a certain way doesn’t mean she does!
 
– You’re only the best thing in her life until the next best thing comes along!…
 
– Nothin’ is forev…
 
I got another 4-letter word for ya!:
 
Pretty bad when ya’ gotta concentrate as hard as possible when the newbie starts sayin’ shit like, “I’ve never met anyone like you” n “I think I’m fallin’ in love with you”! Keep in mind, it’s been like 3 or 4 days n it’s IMPOSSIBLE to have such deep n prophetic ideas about how you feel about me this soon… I’ll play along with the best of em’ but just so ya’ know, I was on the committee that designed the game n it’s marketing strategy!
Not only do you sound scripted but it’s like you’re reachin’ for random shit that you think I wanna hear. How ’bout you just be truthful, sincere n let this thing take us to wherever it is we’re goin’ n stop pretendin’ like we’re already there…
If you won’t even bake me a few choc’ chip cookies, It’s a stretch for me to believe that you’d die without me!!! It’s more probable that I’m prolly gonna dump your ass bc obviously I’m not even worth a trip to Giant Eagle for the dough. WT’FUCK’?!

 

 

 

 

One response

  1. The crux of your writing whilst sounding agreeable originally, did not work well with me after some time. Somewhere throughout the paragraphs you managed to make me a believer unfortunately only for a short while. I still have got a problem with your leaps in assumptions and one might do nicely to help fill in all those gaps. If you actually can accomplish that, I would certainly be fascinated.

    January 4, 2012 at 10:58 am

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